Writing Wednesday-Make Writing a Priority
June 17, 2009 by Melissa
The one thing I hear from writers most of the time is that they have no time to write, especially aspiring authors. It is understandable. We have personal lives. There are spouses, significant others, kids, parents, sometimes a day job…it can wear a person down. And, when you have to choose between writing and those nonwriting things, you tend to put aside writing. Even if you are a contracted writer and you have the deadline from hell, you make allowances for your family, work, friends, etc. Why? I think part of it comes from the belief that these things are IMPORTANT and writing can go to the wayside. It can cut into your writing time if you aren’t careful. Don’t get me wrong. My family comes first. But there are ways to make sure you can find time each week to write.
When I first came back to writing, we were living in Hawaii. I had started to pursue it a bit in Georgia, but once we settled in HI, I really got serious. It was easy at first. My oldest was in first grade and I was pregnant with my second child. I had the day to myself. Then came March and our youngest. Life of course went into crazy mode and with my days filled with a baby–not to mention no sleep at night, I had no way of writing. I had to make a choice. Get up early to write or give up TV and stay up late. For those of you who know me well, you know the whole getting up early thing was NOT going to happen, lol. So, I opted to give up TV for a few years and write. It wasn’t easy, I am a TV hound and this was before DVRs were affordable. But, I wanted to be a writer and I had to make that choice. I didn’t hesitate, just completely gave up TV at night.
But, you say, I have other things. My kids are involved, my spouse doesn’t understand, my friends think I am a stick in the mud because I only want to write now. I have a solution for that. First, I want you to get a piece of paper, and writie this sentence.
I AM A WRITER.
All caps. I don’t care if you are starting your first book or your twentieth. Write it now! No one is going to take you seriously unless you do. Until you call yourself a writer, no one will think of you that way. Take your craft and career seriously, and they will too. It won’t be easy. My husband is one of my biggest supporters, but even he does things that make me want to throw a pot at his head. It is a never ending battle, I know, but the first step is believing in you.
Now, what you need to do is write down priorities. Kids, spouse, SO, work, exercise, church, TV shows you will never miss etc… In that list there should be writing. Now, I want you to take that list and put them in order of importance. Depending on your personal life, writing should be somewhere in the top five–mine is number two right behind family. Now, start out at the bottom and cross off the things you can live without. You have a fav TV show? Record it and watch it at your convenience after you finish a project or your target goal for the day, or watch it on hulu. You like to volunteer at your kids’ school? Great! But make sure that instead of five times a week, you do three or four. It won’t fall apart without you. There are all kinds of ways to cut back time.
This is the point where people gripe at me and say “All these things are very important, and writing can wait.” Granted, I know everyone’s situation is different. We have a member of my family with a terminal disease and I know sometimes you have to put aside things you might want. BUT, many times, it is just every day things that suck away your writing time. If you have a lot of those things and you are unwilling to give those things up, I say, you don’t want it bad enough. Nothing comes easy, especially in publishing. If you don’t want to publish that first book, get a better contract or tackle a new genre enough to give up watching The Real Housewives of NJ(OMG I so love that show), I say you don’t want it enough. I gave up a lot of things when I wrote, TV being one, but I cut back on my socializing. The military can be a very social place when you live on base, but I started to regulate how much time I had for things. It was hard because it does make you a bit of a loner and that is always a hard thing to do. But, I wanted to be a writer more than the funny one everyone liked to invite to parties. Even if you write one page a day, that gives you a book at the end of the year. Better if you are writing category or aiming for epublishing with a cat length book: you can write two a year.
One other exercise I will give you is to do something for your craft every day. Whether writing or reading an article, self-editing, critiquing for a fellow author, plotting, retreat or writing, do something. Hell, even read in your genre, because that feeds your creative side AND it keeps you informed about what publishers are looking for. Another good thing is to carry around a notepad of some sort. Ideas come up when you are in the grocery store, waiting to pick up kids, watching a game. Keep it with you to write these things down, or heck, write scenes, plot, get to know your characters by working on character wksts.
The last exercise is writing down a goal for writing. I started this with a group called Survivor Writers. We wrote three pages five days a week, or fifteen pages for the week. It got me in the habit of writing on a regular basis. So, one page a week? Five hours of writing a week? A book a year…whatever, write it down and hold yourself to it. Find a writing buddy, have write offs, hold each other accountable.
I understand we all have things that will rise up and conquer us. Sometimes, it is much easier to sit on the couch and watch a Bravo marathon. Hey, we all slip. We are human. But, the important thing is the next day you are up and working. Take your work seriously, always, and you will finish that book.:
Dr Wicked-great little device to write to. Keeps you on track
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If you have a lot of those things and you are unwilling to give those things up, I say, you don’t want it bad enough
And if you don’t want it that badly, it’s okay BUT if you do want it but you’re making excuses, it’s not okay. I have a writer friend who (how do I put this) freely admits her son is her first priority and she’s VERY involved in all his extra-curricular activities. That’s how she wants it and again, that’s okay. I’m the non-joiner mom who better get at least 24 hour advance warning of open houses or we won’t go. Heeh
You are right. Sometimes, you have to let writing not be a priority, but that is a choice you make(sometimes not always a free choice). The problems with the Degen Disc Disease really cause me a lot of problems, and I hve had to learn ways to write differently.
I am also the non joiner mom but I am also a great big donkey Girl Scout who volunteers at times. I think it is my military background because service before self is so ingrained in you. But, one thing I learned to say was no.
Everyone has a different priority. Some people write one page a week, others write 20 a day, but you have to decide what you can and cannot do. There is nothing wrong admitting that you don’t want to write over your kids, or even watching Gray’s. One thing I love about this business it is very personal, even how we choose to write.
But, back to your friend, I know as a mother with a band and softball kid, there are a lot of waiting times, and that is where the notebook comes in handy. Esp sitting in the car waiting on practice to let out.